Aging

An ode to my mother-in-law...
89 is an awe-inspiring accomplishment. Walking 30 minutes at a brisk, 89 year old pace. Each step bringing a minute of sunshine to erode the sense of doom she feels at the state of the world.
Two months ago her doctor stole her independence by reporting her to the provincial licensing company as having growing cognative impairment. One wonders why the doctor lacked the respect to share his findings with her and one day she recieved a letter from the government telling her that she could no longer drive.
So now she walks.
To Dairy Queen.
To Copper Kettle.
To her favourite shops.
Our society struggles to care for our mothers and grandmothers, fathers and grandfathers.
Their minds work overtime to understand the changes in, what Tevia called "tradition."  Access to hours of news and real time information, the world is a frightening place, discounting their values and replacing them with selfish convenience. Fast pace technology has changed the face of the world. Children and grandchildren with their attention focused on smart phones and tablets, relationships built on sound waves. The cloud makes no sense to them, wven when we tell them they can change the font with the touch of their fingertips, making reading a breeze. Touch screens and intuitive interfaces are foreign languages. Why can't we just answer our phones?
The eldest son wants her to move to a senior's complex where her meals will be supplied. Grandma likes Copper Kettle and Dairy Queen. The youngest son created a nutrition savvy menue. She likes hamburgers and cheese infused Alfredo. The doctor tells her that her aches and pains are normal -- after all, she's old. She remembers the days where she could prune the apple trees, paint the garage floor and wash out every kitchen cupboard on a fall Saturday.
She looks at the 900 square foot apartment and wonders where her daughters will stay when they come to visit. And how she can fit her piano in such a small place -- she hasn't played the piano in several decades, but it was a significant purchase and it's a lovely place to display family photos. She looks at the cost and wonders how they can rationalize $1500 for food for an under 5 foot grandmother.
I watch as her world shrinks from a 5 bed room farmhouse to one bed and one chair, a bar fridge and lunch with the other residents in the main dining room. I know that she struggles to understand the changes that have been made all around her.
I beat her at Scrabble -- barely -- and I wish that I could play with her more often.